OnePoland

I've been lucky enough to give birth four times now, but every time it's like first time - you don't really remember it that fully - after all, if you did remember all this pain that you had to go through, you would never really do it again!

When preparing for the fourth birth, I wrote down my birth plan, following the experience of what went right and what could have been better, based on the previous 3 times. Believe it or not, I found it particularly hard, but what helped was reading lots of back issues of Mother & Baby magazines, and the best advice I found is that you can do it on a computer and print it out - it does not have to be hand written! So here's what I came up with, and in the end, I managed to get the birth I wanted.

Click here for my birth stories...

Click here for tips on what to pack in hospital bag...

My top five tips for active birth

1. How do you know that you're in labour - when it starts you will know. It may be waters breaking or it may be that first contraction, but you will know that "it started". Don't panic - there's usually plenty of time to get to hospital, although you will get very excited and anxious. You will worry about how you will cope with pain, how will you manage - it will be all fine and you will know what to do. Although it helps to be prepared - read any books you can get hands on, attend the antenatal parentcraft classes (especially if it's your first time).

2. Don't scream - yes it hurts, but save all your energy on breathing, and screaming will not help. Take regular, deep and slow "in and out" breaths (think "Darth Wader"...), into the gas and air mouthpiece, starting at the beginning of the contraction, and throughout. Each contraction is like a wave - you will feel it coming and it will gradually become stronger until it peaks, and just when you think you can't take it anymore, it will start fading away - you should stop using gas & air when you feel the contraction pain is fading away, otherwise you'll breathe in too much of it and it will make you sick - it still last a few seconds for those last few moments to still give you this woozy drunken feeling and take the edge off the pain. So staying calm and concentrating on the regular deep rhythmic breathing, instead of fussing about the pain, you will get through it.

3. Stay upright - sit on a bouncy birthing ball, sway your hips about, stand by the bed resting your upper body on the raised bed, and when it's get too hard to stand - get onto the bed and kneel in upright position leaning on the back rest. You will find the baby will come out faster as the gravity helps get him/her down. It may be hard, as your legs will be giving in and you'd be getting tired but think about all the extra time you will save on going through the contractions pain as your labour will be faster. The worse thing you can do is give birth lying down.

4. Ignore your partners yawns and "are we there yet" questions - focus on the end goal. Visualise your baby going through the birth canal and each contraction is taking you closer to meeting your baby. Don't watch the clock. When it comes to pushing stage, avoid your partner to look down there - "Oh my, that's a big head" will not help. Instead, get him to massage your lower back - it really helps at the height of the contraction, and together with gas & air, it helps you cope better.

5. Trust me - you will know when the pushing stage starts - it's a different kind of contraction pain and your body is taking over the job of pushing - you cannot stop it or control it but you do need to help - you do not need to use gas & air for this stage any more and it means the end is near. There are small breaks between each contraction, where you need to rest and gather strength before next pushing contraction starts - take a deep breath before it starts and hold for the duration - you won't have a chance to breath again - the better you push the faster this stage will finish and you'll have your baby but do listen to your midwife - sometimes they'll tell you to stop pushing if there's a cord around baby's neck. The thing I did not know when giving birth for the first time is that pushing is very similar like giving poo - imagine your worse constipation - that's the way to push, not through your "front". And don't worry if you poo, the midwives cope with it. For that reason, avoid curry at all cost any time around your due date, even if you're overdue..

MY BIRTH PLAN FOR ACTIVE BIRTH

I do not want to be strapped down to a monitoring machine unnecessary for too long – would want to be upright/move around.

I prefer to give birth upright – kneeling on the bed, if possible (if a birthing ball is available, I would like to use it).

I will still need guidance and assurance even if I already have given birth before - every baby is different.

My last births were really quick so do not want to be left alone.

I do not mind any vaginal examinations as necessary for the safe delivery of the baby.

I do not mind having an episiotomy if it helps, but have torn naturally previously, probably due to speed of delivery.

I am happy for medical students to be present during my labour and/ or the birth of my baby but I do not want them to be left unsupervised.

But in the end will do whatever the safest for the baby !

PSD I cannot stay in the same position for too long as I suffer from PSD pubic symphysis dysfunction.

Pain Relief

Mostly Gas and Air (may get sick), Pethidine or equivalent if there’s time.

Daddy to cut the cord if possible

We would like to take pictures/videos of birth & new baby if possible

We would like to have a chance to discover the sex of the baby by ourselves

Immediate Skin to Skin contact after delivery and help with Breastfeeding

– but may get cold quickly after birth and need a blanket.

I will need help with the first bath and would like to stay at the Wrekin Maternity Unit until breastfeeding is established.

Placenta Delivery - by injection please

Vitamin K - consent given for Injection.

After birth - the non-glamorous bits

• The down side of giving birth is the bleeding - there's lots of blood everywhere, and your initial blood loss will be very heavy so you'd need to use 2 maternity pads. It will then start fading after a week or so, but overall it may last up to 5-6 weeks. I suppose it's a nature's revenge for not having any periods for the last 9 months. Watch out for any big "bits" and report them to your midwife.
• You will be so busy gazing at your new baby that you will not notice at all that you've delivered a placenta other then some slippery feeling. If you don't want to, don't look at it.
• Going to the toilet for the first time - doing your first poo will feel like giving birth all over again, and you tear/had stitching, the peeing will sting - use bidet after each go to wash yourself gently.
• Your beautiful baby bump will now be a deflated saggy balloon. It will shrink after a few days as your uterus contacts back to its normal size but there still will be a baby bulge left - don't attempt to diet until you finish breastfeeding.
• You'd still be waddling about as all your bits will be sore - you'd live in your pyjamas for at least 3 days but do try to make an effort to get dressed on the fourth day to regain some sanity.