OnePoland

How to succeed at breastfeeding? Why does the most natural thing in the word needs so much hard work?

There is no rule that if you've done it successfully before, you can do it again - each baby is different and they all need to "learn" this essential skill from scratch. And you as well.

I can see why bottle feeding may seem appealing to nervous first time mothers - you can see exactly how much the baby is drinking, and most importantly how fast is it disappearing (so you can estimate when will she/he finish) whereas breast feeding seems to go on forever, and no sooner you finish one feed, you seem to be starting another.

The first time these white drops of milk come out of your nipples I thought - Wow - I'm doing this. And I don't even have to do anything special to do it!

Why choosing to breastfeed ? For me it was a question of 3 simple reasons:

1. It's free - in the era of credit crunch, why spending money on something that you get for free - it's the ultimate freebee for your newborn baby.

2. Utter Convenience - I'm just too lazy to be sterilising bottles, boiling, cooling, mixing. All you need to do to feed your baby is to "whip it out" and shove it in their mouth and just sit there.

3. It's your job. You gave birth to this baby, now it's your job to feed it. It must be done.

If you adopt this attitude, you WILL succeed.

OK, so it's not exactly comfortable to start with - you need to aim for the baby to latch on or at least have skin to skin contact immediately after the birth for at least half an hour to an hour.  At this time don't expect that they will be feeding - they may simple be just getting used to your smell and the idea of something being in their mouth. Then they most likely go to sleep for the next 24 hours and won't be wanting to feed until they sick up whatever they swallowed whilst still in your tummy. So be patient.

I don't understand, and in fact I am shocked by the mothers who ask for formula milk to feed the baby for those first three days because either they say their milk has not come in yet, or worse, they believe that the first milk is not real milk. The first 3 days are actually the most important - a) because it's the colostrums - the best first milk and b) the sucking of the baby stimulates the real milk production.  The more they suck the faster it will come.

There are times when you'll think that "breastfeeding sucks".

There are times when you will cry with sheer exhaustion.

And there are times when the baby just finished feeding, have let go of your nipple and just lying there in your arms sleeping blissfully against your breast, still "sucking" from time to time in their dream and you know it's all worth it.

Things I've learned:

1. Always use the nipple cream after every feed, even before your milk comes in. Choose one that does not need wiping before next feed- I swear by Avent Moisturising Nipple Cream. If you forget to apply it you'll regret it as very soon your nipples will be come sore then cracked then bleeding then infected and so on. Prevention is the best cure!

2. On occasions your breast will produce more milk then the baby can suck - sometimes milk ducks will get "stuck" causing painful lumps - you must feed the baby to get them cleared - massage your breast towards your nipple to get the blockage released - within a couple of feeds it should settle down.

3. Timing is of essence - don't be too gentle and don't hesitate too long - the "blissful" nursing mothers image that is sometimes portrayed does not come in till later. When you first learn, shove in as much as you can of your breast into baby's mouth whilst it's opened wide - if it does not seam to be wide enough - wait - their rooting instinct will get them to open it more and then go for it. That's the most common mistake that first time mother's make - they don't let the baby have enough of the breast, so baby only sucks on nipple - which isn't enough to squeeze the milk out, so a) the baby is fretting as nothings coming out and b) you get sore nipple as it's not supposed to be chewed on. So if you don't have it right, try again - use your finger to break the suction and try again till it's right. You will get the hang of it and over time it will become more natural and easy - it takes about 2 weeks to get the rhythm going.

4. Don't be shy feeding in public - when the baby is hungry you have to feed him. That's more important than any amassment. Wear lose tops so the baby will hide under it - and besides many people don't care or won't notice anyway, thinking you're just cuddling the baby. Although babies tend to poo to empty their bowels to make space for new incoming milk - and that poo is usually accompanied by explosive sounds - so it's not always possible to feed discreetly :)

5. If the baby cries and you try feeding them and they're still fretting and not latching on properly, instead of trying to force them on, which only seems to make them cry more - have a break or you're end up hurting your nipples. They probably not actually hungry. Change position - put baby over your shoulder and wind them. Check their nappy. Try again later when they're calm again.

6. Co-sleeping is best if you've got bad back and your baby's too big to be held. But don't do it if you're sharing your bed with a partner or if you're drinking as it's not safe. I've slept with all my babies for first 6 months in a big double bed, with me "squashed" into one corner of the bed, and baby taking 3/4 of the rest of the bed. The advantage of this is that when they wake up for feed, all you have to do is move a bit closer, get your breast out and shove it in - then move back away once they're finished. Since you'll be doing it every 2 hours initially, then every 4-6 hours, it beats getting up, getting baby out of the cot, sitting up, and then putting them down again - it is definitively less exhausting. Although you still get broken nights and sleep depravation anyway.

7. At about 6-7 weeks you'd probably hit the wall and whish that somebody else do it for you. This is probably why many new mothers give up at that stage. Even if you have a partner who is supporting you physically by doing some chores around the house, and occasional baby rocking, it's the emotional support that you really need at this stage. Unfortunately, most blokes are no good at this emotional stuff, so you either need to pick yourself up, have a little break, go for a walk and remember reason why you've decided to breastfed in the first place, and persevere. Or ask for help on one of those many breastfeeding support groups that are available.

Trust me, it will get easier and there will be time when you will really need to give up (ideally when the baby gives up themselves - usually happens when they discover crawling - but most likely when you need to go back to work) and you will actually miss it!