OnePoland

These are the things I wished I'd knew but didn't have a mother or friend to tell me...

A Ante-natal checks

B Booking appointment

It is the first appointment that you officially get to tell somebody other then you're immediate partner/family that you're pregnant. Don't delay booking appointment with your GP - about 4-6 weeks into your pregnancy is the best - because you need to get officially into the "care system" so you get your scans appointments arranged well in time for 12-week scan, and that make take some time.  Avoid unnecessary tests - if you know you'd keep the baby no matter what, what's the point of having all those abnormality tests especially if there's even a tiny risk of miscarriage.

C Cravings in pregnancy

are normal, and you'd most likely end up liking one particular food more over others. In one of my pregnancies I ended up eating tonnes of grapes, in other I couldn't get enough of orange juice, neither of them is something I have every day/often. Try "aiming" your cravings at healthy food as it's very easy to succumb to snacks that may not necessary be healthy or good for the baby and only contribute to unnecessary extra weight gain. Trust me - it's much easier to say no to that double portion of chocolate cake, then to lose that weight afterwards. My top tip is - drink first, non-alcoholic of course, water best, or juices - you'll find that most likely you were thirsty not hungry. And it will help your constipation...

D Depression

pre-natal, or post-natal, is something you will get warned a lot about, but probably won't want to talk about. Worrying about the future is normal. Sitting about in pyjamas all day, staring at the ceiling is not. Get up, get active, walk - don't drive, go swimming, the extra movement will release the happy hormones and they work much better then any anti depressant pills.

E  Emotions

and tears will be running high. Don't try to watch Toy Story 3 if you're pregnant - you'd cry your eyes out. Ditto the Incredibles - anything with mothers and babies will set you off. Don't try to stop it.

F Feet

Say goodbye to them as you'll stop seeing them from about 5 months onward. Wear comfy shoes, preferably flat ones, as you're feet will be swollen, they'll ache to be put up. In fact they will be in direct competition with your back - trying to win which one hurts most. You'd become more clumsy so slow down and take care as you walk about - you'll be bumping into things or even worse - falling down the stairs - in most cases you'll be ok although bruised and bettered - fortunately the baby is protected by the ammonic fluids, but if in doubt or bleeding contact your midwife to arrange a scan.

G Gender prediction

There is no link between how you feel in your pregnancy, how you carry your baby bump or baby's heart beat rate and the gender prediction. Whilst it's useful to know what are you going to have in order to pick the colour of baby clothes/nursery, you do not really know at this stage - you only need to know if it's healthy. And since you'd need to pay for it, as it's not part of standard NHS service, or go private, I'd advise that this money could be better saved to buy something nice for the new baby once it's born and you know for sure what it is. There is so little surprises in life anymore so why waste this one - and anyway, all this extra wait and anticipation will help you push the baby faster so you can finally find out what it is! 

H Healthy eating

Eating healthy is something you need to seriously implement before pregnancy, during and after - if not only for the baby, it's also good for you - it will help you manage your weight gain if you aim to snack on healthy snacks instead of chocolate or sugary stuff - grab an apple / banana / grapes before you reach for the packet of crisp. The older you get the harder it will be to shift those post-pregnancy pounds afterwards.    

I Information

Information about the pregnancy and "birth to five" is available everywhere and there's a lot to learn - read books from library, subscribe to Mother & Baby magazines - save them to re-read again for future pregnancies if planning more than one baby - the general information stays the same. There may be occasional scares in the media on what's best, what to do, and what to avoid. Take advice on the web on baby forums with a pinch of salt and form your own opinion. Trust your instincts - mothers always know best. And you will know what to do - even if it's your first baby - that mother's instinct is not just a myth.

J Juggling work

Juggling work, pregnancy, and life - especially if you have other children already, will not always be easy. Organise yourself. Take time out to enjoy your pregnancy as it goes so fast. If it's your first baby, nap when you can. If it's not, try to engage other siblings in helping you in day-to-day chores because "mummy's tired, as making a new baby is a hard work".

K Kicks

Feeling baby movements is something magical - this is the best time of the pregnancy - this is when you know the baby is fine - literally "alive and kicking". You often see a mum-to-be protectively keeping a hand on her belly - this is probably when the baby is kicking or moving and she instinctively responds to him/her, often subconsciously massaging the belly. When I was pregnant, and not feeling the baby kicking for a while (probably as it was asleep or simply missed it during busy day schedule) I used to "poke" my belly about to get it to wake up and wriggle/kick me, just to be sure it's still ok. 

L Lack of Energy

This is something you will experience from that first blue line appearing - untill your children leave home... There's no cure for it. See Rest / Relax. Whatever you do resist the urge to nest - plan your house cleaning / decluttering in advance or leave it afterwards.

M Miscarriage

It is one of those life experiences that surprisingly many people go through but very few are admitting to it openly. It's very hard - one day you've got this great news that you're pregnant, and next, you're no longer are. You end up grieving for something/someone who never was. The sadness and darkness that you experience when it first happens is deeper then anything you can imagine. You're numb, you cannot move, you think this is the end of all - you feel like a failure and you go over and over in your mind, trying to think what you did wrong that caused it. And most likely nothing could have been done to stop it from happening. But believe me, you do survive it because life goes on, and you must go on - but even if you're lucky and do get pregnant again and go on to have a healthy baby, you will always remember the time when you didn't.

N Non-glamorous side of pregnancy

Constipation, piles, extra wind, extra hair everywhere, extra sweating, morning sickness, bleeding gums, you will get used to. Talk to your midwife if in doubt - they have seen it all.

O Overdue pregnancy

If you've spent all your pregnancy worrying about going into labour early, and then ended up being overdue, it will feel like it's never going to happen. You will probably get depressed, fed up, anxious, and instead of enjoying the pregnancy and wishing it never ends, you'd end up "shouting" at your bump to just "get out".  Every day you're overdue will feel like a week. Each time you'd hear "Are you still here?/No sign of the baby yet?" you'd want to scream. Relax - it will happen - most likely at the time when you lose all the hope that it will. Whatever you do - do not try anything to hurry it up - forget castor oil, sex, bouncing on pregnancy ball - the baby will come when it's ready and you need to save your energy for the labour/birth.  Oh, and if you've been overdue once in your previous pregnancy, you'd most likely be overdue again next time...

P Piles

It is something nobody wants to admit to but probably all pregnant women have it. Since pregnancy shifts your internal organs, constipation is a common side effect - make prunes your best friend and snack on them - at least a handful a day will keep those bowels moving.

Q Quit smoking

I've never smoked in my life but smoking in pregnancy is inexcusable - if smoking kills, you're killing your unborn baby.

R Rest

Rest as much as you can. Put your feet up. Do not strain. Relax. And don't feel guilty about it - when the B-day comes you will not get a chance.

S Sleepless

Sleepless nights is one of the nature's clever way to prepare you for what is to come after baby is born - more sleepless nights. So my top tips are: a) avoid drinking too much before the bedtime as you'd be up to the loo many times b) invest in eye mask, especially one with those nice inbuilt soothing aromas that send you straight to sleep c) pillows, pillows and pillows - surround yourself, prop them behind your back, between your legs - you do not need those special "pregnancy pillows" - any pillow will do as long as there's lots of them. You won't have, of course, any space left for your partner to sleep next to you - hence if you're lucky enough to have space, separate bedrooms are the best solution.

T Tests and Pregnancy Kits

They are all the same, whether the cheapest one or the top brand that tells you how many weeks are pregnant, whether blue, pink, simple plus/minus or digital display. But this is the very first of the many decision that you will need to make when it comes to spending money on your future baby. My top tip is to get the cheapest test, typically own brand, and wait until at least a day of your period is due, or better yet a couple of days after - a positive result is always positive, so you really do not need to take several tests afterwards just to believe it! You better believe it and save your money for all those extra expenses afterwards!. A negative test may mean that you took the test too early, so be patient - taking repetitive tests unnecessary just because you can't wait only wastes money and you will know soon enough if it happened or not as the best indicator is that your period is overdue.

U USG Scans

Ultrasound this is the first time you will see your baby on the monitor. It is the time when it's finally confirmed - even if you've done the pregnancy tests, you won't believe it till you see - many times up till then you will stress and wonder if there's really "anything in there". So now you will know. Take your time to look and take it all in, because the appointment goes really quickly - ask for the photograph - they don't last long but you can scan them in and keep on your computer/print out so they keep forever. Typically you'd get 12-week and 20-week scans, unless there is any concerns. but if you had previous miscarriages you may ask for earlier scan, and of course with twins or any problems you'd be monitored more frequently. I don't recommend any of the 3D scans so called "baby bonding scans" - it's again one of those things that cost a lot and are not really necessary - you will get to bond with your baby once it's born, not on a monitor.

V Vitamins

If you're struggling with your five-a-day, and even if you're not, you should still aim to supplement your diet with special pregnancy vitamins for mums-to-be. Best to start at least 3 months before starting trying to get pregnant to build up the Folic acid stores in your body to help build a strong healthy baby. Personally I swear by Sanatogen Pronatal - Pregnacare just does not appeal to me, but it's a personal choice - as long as you stick to it.

W Weight gain

Weight gain in pregnancy is something you cannot predict. You must not diet. Waddling about in your last weeks of pregnancy is normal - wear your bump with pride as it's the only time you can stick your belly out instead of sucking it in. You will get to diet after your baby is weaned - it takes 9 months to make the baby and 9 months to nurture it afterwards - so don't expect to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight straight away - aim for baby's first birthday. My top tip is - try to lose all your pregnancy/post baby weight before trying to get pregnancy again - otherwise you'd have double the weight to lose afterwards. Even if you don't have time to keep a pregnancy diary, take pictures of yourself and your growing belly at different stages of your pregnancy including just before going into labour - it will be great looking back at it and seeing how incredibly big you got... and hopefully, how it's all gone...

X Xtra weight

Extra weight gain will equal over-stretched skin. Avoid the itchiness of the growing belly by slathering on yourself bottles and bottles of pregnancy oils. As much as I love Bio Oil, a supermarket own brand of mother-to-be oil will probably do as good as long as it's lots of it, at least twice a day. Other then that, you don't really need any extra pampering stuff that is marketed at mothers to be.

Y Yours

Your choice of baby name should remain a secret till the baby is born - if you disclose it before people will comment, most likely negatively, and put you off it. After the baby is born all you will hear "Aaah, that's lovely".

Z ZZZzz

I've already mentioned sleepless nights, but once you do get to go to sleep, you'd probably have the most vivid kinky dreams. It's all those extra hormones you're carrying so enjoy it....