Siblings
What is the best age gap between having children?
I’d say about 2-3 years, to avoid double buggies which a
nightmare to manoeuvre. And you’d feel like you’re pushing a
“breeding bus”. How many children is the best number? How many is too many?
It’s really individual choice – or not. If you believe that
children are gifts from God, then there’s no number. Personally
I’d always joked that I’d stop at five. One child will be lonely
and will be craving your attention all the time, two will get on
really well (most of the time) especially if they’re close in
age, and play together, leaving you to do your things. At about
age of 2, when they’re cute and like to help around the house
(this trait usually disappears around the age of 9 when they
start preparing for the big turn into moody teenager), I’d
usually get broody starting to think about the next one, to keep
the “production line” going.
But joking aside, it’s not something that you can really control
– you may have trouble conceiving. 3 or more is classed as a
large family and whilst many may gasp – oh my God – four girls -
to be honest it gets easier the more you have. They all like to
help, and they can all be assigned individual chores and
responsibilities and you’re no longer alone doing it all.
Can you choose baby’s gender?
No. If you could, the nature’s natural balance may be thrown off
balance, as people of some cultures may prefer one over the
other. You get what you’ve given. You’re lucky to be a mum so
why ponder over what you’re getting. It’s not stopping us from
craving though – if you have all girls, you’d like a boy and
vice versa. The grass is always greener on the other side and
families with mixed gender children are considered lucky and
their families “complete” (but to be honest, given a choice of
all boys or all girls, I’d choose all girls any day).
How do you introducing siblings to your new baby without causing
jealously?
Once your other child/children are over 4-5 years, the choice of
having any more children is not really just your own – you need
to see how the new addition will fit into your existing family,
as it’s no longer just “your new baby” – it’s every body’s new
baby. It’s best to get them involved during pregnancy stage, to
sing/talk to your bump and stroke it – especially when the
baby’s kicking. Read through books on pregnancy stages and show
them how big the baby’s getting week by week. When it finally
comes out, and they visit you at hospital – let them “discover”
the baby in the cot and let them make their own connections. At
home – get them to help with nappy changing, bath times, taking
pictures. The more you get them involved the more integrated
family you’d become. Nobody should be left out, no matter how
tired you are. How do you cope with siblings bickering?
They will bicker. They will fight. As long as it’s not violent,
let them sort themselves out. There will be a natural selection
of pecking order. There’s always going to be one “leader”, and
it may not necessary be the oldest child. Having clear house
rules help. If it gets out of hand follow the “supernanny” rules
of clear warnings and punishments if it continues. Stay
consistent. You are the boss of the family and your word is
final. |